Blog

Funerals are a way for people to celebrate the lives of their loved ones, but these celebrations often have a price tag that can be very high for the average family. A funeral with a viewing and a burial can cost upwards of $7,000. And when you consider that many families are also attempting to pay off additional expenses, like medical costs, after their loved one passes, they can quickly struggle under the weight of their financial burden. It’s no wonder why so many families turn to GoFundMe to ask for help covering all the costs, but is there a better way to pay for a funeral?

Even when a death is clearly coming it is almost always unexpected. “Mom was 96 but we just talked to her on Sunday, and she was fine. Hospice told us it was just a matter of days, but we just stepped out to the store for a few minutes, and he was gone. She was doing so well, we were surprised.”

What does grief look like? You might be thinking now about the five stages: anger, denial, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But what happens when someone goes out of order, skips a step, or doesn’t go through them at all? Although you may think it’s a sign that something is wrong, the truth is that we all experience grief in different ways. And someone may move through grief faster than someone else.

When we talk about working with a funeral home to plan a loved one’s funeral, one person who plays a central role in creating an event that celebrates that loved one’s life is the funeral director. A funeral director is essentially your go-to person at the funeral home, there to provide care and support during an incredibly challenging time. They oversee and direct all funeral services, from viewings and visitations to burials and cremations. But there’s even a lot of work that funeral directors do behind the scenes that families don’t see, such as organizing transportation for your loved one to and from the funeral home, coordinating receptions, and ensuring that all necessary paperwork is filed properly and in a timely manner.

Cremation rates have been on the rise in the United States for many years, with the rates reaching all the way to 57.5 percent in 2021. By 2025, that rate is expected to climb to 64.1 percent. With the cremation rate continuing to rise, it’s becoming more and more common for funeral homes to be holding funerals for loved ones who will be cremated. But how does funeral planning work when your loved one will be cremated?

Funerals aren’t one-size-fits-all. One of the most important steps in funeral planning is customization. How is this funeral right for your loved one? How are you celebrating your loved one’s life through everything from the floral arrangements to the clothing they’re wearing? What makes this funeral uniquely your loved one’s funeral? Here are a few ways to customize a funeral for your loved one.

The term “green funeral” refers to ceremony, service, and body disposition that focuses on preservation of the earth. Many of those who live “green” also wish to end “green”. Just as living green is carried out in different ways and with many choices, there are also many different methods of having a green funeral. Your funeral director is your best guide to the green funeral options available in your geographic area.

“I was very surprised at my reaction. Seeing John in his casket wasn’t something I was looking forward to. His daughter (from his first marriage) really wanted an open casket. So, I agreed. Mostly just to remain on good terms with my stepdaughter. He looked so peaceful. He had a Mona Lisa smile. I am so glad I didn’t stick to what he and I had talked about. The opportunity for that last good good-bye ended up meaning the world to me… and his daughter.”

What to wear to a funeral has changed and continues to change with time. We are more relaxed, less formal in 2021 than we were even ten years ago. Still some basic principles endure. A funeral is a somber respectful occasion.

Perhaps you begin by just believing in yourself. Even though you may feel empty you have something to give. Even if your emotions are right there on the surface, it’s ok. Even if you are trying to immerse yourself in your life to avoid your own pain, surrender. Join hands with your fellow mourner and let yourself feel.

For those who choose to actively live lightly on our earth the question of how to leave when we die can be confusing. Fortunately, just as in green living, there are many options for green burial. As with all end-of-life decisions, your local funeral director is your best resource. He or she will help you sort through the choices and find a solution that supports your values, comforts your family and fits within the budget.